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Updated: 2 days ago


Loneliness has the power to deepen your confusion about your own identity, so much so, that you double dose on all his emotional baggage as he tricks you out of enjoying today, but you don't have to feel lonely if you don't relate to the person you woke up as this morning. Loneliness is a bad best friend who relishes your company, everywhere you go, all day long. He doesn't want you to belong with anyone else.


How about meeting a new friend called, Tomorrow?


Tomorrow is an incredible companion. She adores you and cherishes all your accomplishments, and today you are both free to laugh over your flaws. She brings back memories of the people and moments that shaped your identity and where you felt a sense of belonging. She paints vivid pictures of the places that held your heart and reciprocated your love. Together, you reminisce about the dolls neatly arranged on the sofa, who instilled the confidence in you to believe in yourself. You recall the audacious spirit of your youth that pushed you to explore new horizons and behind every thought, she reminds you that there still lies silent courage.


Loneliness Hates Tomorrow.


Tomorrow is 90 now. She speaks from a higher place and asks us all,



'If you were in my shoes, what would be on your to-do list for yourself, today?'




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Divorced. I am alone. My friends are gone. I'm ashamed because I'm still young. I walk everywhere, always alone. Everyone has got somebody, or a dog or something. Wherever I look, alone finds me.


Bereaved. I was a man and should have gone first but now I'm a sad lonesome widower. No one to talk to or to cook my meals. Our family is far away. I feel bleak and I can't even say it out loud. I have never asked for help in my life and I and won't ask now. I look in the mirror and I'm a picture of loneliness.


I moved. I left all I knew, to see the sea each day. I never knew I would only find sea. I don't have anyone to talk to. At home, everyone talked, but not here, not even me. I've become invisible. I daren't say hello. I did in the beginning but not now. I don't belong here. I'm shamefaced at what I've become. I'm so empty.


I retired. Now I'm bored, lonely, alone. The clubs didn't satisfy me. I like being by myself too much, but my wife got ill and now I'm her carer. This is lonelier than being lonely.

I miss being around folk in a pub, on a bus, in a cafe. Chaffing the grain, shouting at the football. I'm an empty mess missing 'unfortunate me.'


The kids left home. The euphoric orchestra played and the empty nest had no squawking voices to love. No eating at different times, staying out all night, patrolling hushed bedrooms, now it is holidaying over and over again. Cruises are the loneliest. Widows draining purses, hiding from shame, pretending to be at one with one.


Loneliness is your soul's cry, teaching you that you are human, humans need social connection. No one has a life without loneliness happening in it. Life changes us, become curious and learn new ways to be. It is so darn hard to stay stuck in the person you are today, but once the pain of staying the same becomes bigger than the pain of change, you will find the strength to turn that pain around.


Loneliness's stigma is ironic. Like fear, loneliness is not rational but taking one day at a time, one choice at a time. This is when time changes and a new life begins. Loneliness makes us look inward, curiosity makes us look outward.

Helping yourself helps the world.

Changing a frown to a smile doesn't take that much hard work. And a smile given or received

from a stranger can make someone's day special. We all need to see, hear and value one another, but most of all - belong.



We are born alone. We live alone. When we are with others, we are still alone. So why the heck should we feel ashamed?



Feeling Ashamed of being with yourself, is not Crazy!!!! 

It's the most normal state of being.



Lonely. Shame.

If we are not happy alone and want to be with others to be happy, then you know what your homework is. 

If you feel alone with others, maybe spend more time creatively by yourself.

If you are alone in a couple, know, its OK to have other friends.

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Updated: Jan 9




A mindfield of school

teacher bullets

1969,

swallowing used chewing gum grit,

1966,

buried pets,

1976,

long long ago,

before the rot in this trench

I call home.


The world laughs,

drinks wine,

posing dinners.

Going outdoors

feels criminal.


If I go down the path

I'll look back at a

a confused

dark person

who lives as

a perishing tyre


OK. I'll do it next week

if this gets too much again,

or maybe it won't

next week.






Moral

When the pain of staying the same becomes more painful than

the pain o f changing, that is when long-term change can be made.



A big thank you for the picture by Geralt, free on Pixabay.


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