Why Some Men Hold Back

Why Some Men Hold Back from Joining a Chat Group — And How We Can Help Change That

At Chitter Chatter Clubs, we see every day how powerful connection can be. A simple conversation, a shared laugh, or even a quiet moment sitting alongside someone else can shift the weight a person has been carrying. But we also know that many men hesitate to join a chat group — even when they’re feeling lonely, overwhelmed, or simply in need of a bit of company.

It’s not because they don’t want support. It’s because the world has taught them to carry their struggles silently.

The expectations men grow up with

So many men have been raised with the old “man up” message. Be strong. Don’t cry. Don’t ask for help. Sort it yourself. When that’s been the soundtrack of your life, the idea of joining a group chat — where people talk openly and honestly — can feel like stepping into a foreign country.

Some worry they’ll look weak. Others fear being judged. And many have been conditioned to believe that talking about emotions is somehow “unmanly,” even though it’s one of the bravest things a person can do.

There’s also a real stigma around help‑seeking. Many men genuinely believe they should cope alone, even when it’s costing them their health, their relationships, and their peace of mind.

Group chats can feel intimidating

Even the structure of a chat group can be a barrier:

- Fear of judgment

- Worry about awkward silences

- Not knowing what to say

- Feeling overwhelmed by constant notifications

- Or simply not seeing how the group fits into their life

For some, it’s easier to quietly slip away than to risk feeling uncomfortable.

Different ways of coping

Many men cope by distracting themselves — working long hours, drinking, gaming, or keeping constantly busy. These strategies can feel safer than sitting with difficult emotions or talking about them.

And often, men only reach out when things hit crisis point. Until then, they push through, hoping the storm will pass on its own.

Activity‑based meetups work so well — the connection grows naturally, without pressure. That's why we have started a games club. Guys and girls can confect without agenda. Just for fun.

It's a gentle way forward

At CCC, we don’t force conversation. We don’t expect anyone to bare their soul. We simply create spaces where people can show up as they are — whether they want to talk, listen, laugh, or just sit with a cup of tea.

Games club feels a lot more natural.

Try Our Games Club — A Simple First Step

It’s relaxed, friendly, and built around doing rather than talking — which is how many men connect best.

📍 Tuesdays at 2.30pm

📍 The Sweet Home Inn, Poole

There’s no pressure to talk about anything heavy. You can just come along, play a game, share a laugh, and be part of something without feeling exposed.

Sometimes connection starts with a deck of cards, a board game, or a shared joke across the table. And from there, the rest unfolds naturally.